Mary Miller Spalding – known throughout her life as “Polly” – died peacefully after a long illness on March 10, 2010, a few days before what would have been her 79th birthday. Born Mary Alice Miller in Montclair, New Jersey on March 22, 1931, she was the younger child of Paul Richardson Miller, manager of American Color Type of Clifton, NJ, and Mary Darthea Dodd. Her brother, Paul R. ("Tony") Miller, Jr., a corporate and academic public affairs officer in New York and Boston, died in January of 1991. She was a 1948 graduate of what is now known as the Montclair Kimberley Academy, and a 1950 graduate of Bennett Junior College in Millbrook, New York, where she studied early childhood development. In February of 1951 she married Francis O. Spalding of Lake Forest, Illinois; they were divorced 14 years later. During the first two years of their marriage Mr. Spalding was on active duty in the U.S. Marine Corps; during much of 1952, while he was in Korea, Polly taught nursery school in New York City. After his term of service they settled in Cincinnati, Ohio and then in Lake Forest, and had four children: Richard Evans, a Presbyterian minister now serving as Chaplain of Williams College in Williamstown, Massachusetts; Anna Ilsley, a client of STAR, Inc. who is married to John Gibson and works at Stop & Shop in Norwalk, Connecticut; William Holt, who is married to Sandra Jean Valle and resides in Morrisville, Vermont where he is Director of Customer Service at Concept2, Inc.; and Mary Dodd, who is married to William V. O’Meara and resides in Watertown, Connecticut. Inspired by Polly’s years of advocacy for the developmentally delayed and intellectually challenged, Mary O’Meara founded the Special Populations Activities and Recreation Council (SPARC) of Volusia County, Florida; her career has also included positions at AT&T, M.S.I., and the United Way. Following her divorce in 1965 Polly Spalding moved to New Canaan, Connecticut where she raised her children, and where she contributed countless volunteer hours over the next 40 years – to the Parent-Teacher Association at East School, the American Red Cross, the League of Women Voters – and especially to STAR, Inc. of Fairfield County, CT, particularly their residential program. She served two terms on the board of STAR, Inc., and was an early advocate of group homes for citizens like her daughter Annie. She was an active member of the First Presbyterian Church of New Canaan, where she was ordained a Deacon in 1978, played in the English Handbell Choir and served as a loyal volunteer in the Church Office. She was also employed for several years in customer service at the Home Oil Company of New Canaan. In 1989 she moved to Quail Ridge in Ridgefield, and added Meals on Wheels to the portfolio of causes to which she gave time and energy. From her earliest childhood years she was also a summer resident of Amagansett, New York, and she owned a summer home nearby in The Springs for almost 50 years, where she and her family took great delight in the landscape and community. She was an avid ocean swimmer, an accomplished small boat sailor, an enthusiastic skier – and she passed her love of these activities on to her children. Among her greatest pleasures were her garden, her needlepoint, her cats, and the Sunday New York Times crossword puzzle. In recent years Mrs. Spalding suffered from progressive aphasia and dementia. She moved to Stowe, Vermont in 2005 to be near her children and grandchildren – and then to Watertown, Connecticut in 2007 where she lived with her daughter Mary who, with her family, cared for her faithfully for two years. During the final five months of her life she lived at the Alzheimer's Resource Center of Connecticut, in Plantsville, where she received truly remarkable and compassionate care. In addition to her four children, who were with her when she died, Polly Spalding is survived by her five grandchildren: Katherine Fay Spalding, Eliza Alvera Spalding, Matthew Dodd O’Meara, William Lang O’Meara and Brian Holt O’Meara – four step-grandchildren: Erin O’Meara Gaita, Kevin Edward O’Meara, Brady Colleen O’Meara, and Rory Thomas O’Meara – two step-great-grandchildren – two nieces and five nephews – and two sisters-in-law, Susan A. Miller and Camilla Spalding Prosser. A service of gratitude for her life will be held on Saturday, April 24 at 11 a.m. at the First Presbyterian Church of New Canaan – where her ashes will rest in the Memorial Garden. Polly Spalding requested that any contributions in her memory be made to the First Presbyterian Church of New Canaan or to STAR, Inc. Her children also invite memorial contributions to the Alzheimer's Resource Center of Connecticut. Saturday April 24, 2010 , 11:00Am at First Presbyterian Church of New Canaan Click for Map and Directions